a portion of a letter to my sister...

... Sometimes I imagine God leading me by holding a lantern right in front of me and I only get to see a glimpse of the direction he wants me to go... He only lights one step at a time because He wants me to walk that close to Him. He never gives me the full picture. (probably because I'd run the other way). I just move in the direction He's nudging me and keep pushing on doors. Eventually one opens and then the lantern lights the next step. 

The "old" way God led His people was through the law, but He never intended for that way to last. Now we're not asked to follow the law, He wants us to follow Him. He doesn't speak to us through priests and prophets... Now He speaks directly to his sheep. He wants an intimate relationship with his children. He doesn't want us to embrace the law, but to embrace Him. Until we lay down the law, the veil remains and keeps us from the intimacy we were created to have with our Father. 


This kind of talk would have sounded so crazy to me when my hope was in following rules, programs, and formulas. Now I see it's all about relationship. Religion only keeps a distance between me and my "dad". He lives in me and leads me from inside, if I listen. Here I go pondering again. But you are a safe place for my heart to ponder!

Gotta run and cook dinner. Pondering doesn't put food on the table, ha!

You Can't Enjoy A Gift Unless You Open It...

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the tradewinds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover."

Mark Twain




When I read this quote it caught the eye of the dreamer in me. I think we can stay too close to the safe harbor sometimes because we are afraid to go after our dreams. We can be paralyzed by all the "what ifs?" or the "I just don't see hows". The times that I have had the courage and faith to follow the glimmering lights of hope through some very dark and unknown places, have led me to open up some of the most incredible gifts in my life. 


What are some dreams that call out to you from deep inside? We are all so unique, it will probably be different for each of us, and different dreams in different seasons of our lives. There are no dreams too big or too small. Don't let fear hold you back, you may miss out on something beautiful. I'm not advocating being irresponsible or reckless for sure, but I think sometimes we let our fears or limited sight keep us from reaching for something we were created for. Where do those deep desires come from??? Who placed them there???


It's interesting to take a look at what you have bookmarked on your computer. It reveals a lot about what you tend to be drawn to. For me, my longest list of favorites is under "spiritual", my second longest list is under "adoption", my third is "decorating" and my forth is "signing". I also have a passion for reading and writing, but haven't googled too much about those. I do however keep a running list of books in the back of my day timer and you'll never find me without a book, a pen, and a notebook for journaling. The two blogs I've started are about my greatest passions: my family and pondering the deeper, spiritual things in life. 


At different times I feel myself being drawn toward certain things and it's almost like there is a magnet in me that makes it hard to resist. Sometimes they keep me awake at night. I'm learning to listen to my heart's desires and ask God, is this something you have for me??? God says we were created to do "good works." I'd hate to miss out on some of the tasks I was uniquely created for. I don't want to look back in twenty years at all these unwrapped gifts and wonder what my life would have been like if I had opened them.


For quite some time, signing has been a growing desire in me. To me it is the most beautiful language I've ever been exposed to. I recently contacted a deaf school in the area and asked if I could volunteer there in the fall when the girls start school, just so I could be around it and absorb it. Who knows where it will lead? That's not something I need to figure out. I just step in the light that shines before me and see where it leads. I find when I follow these promptings in me, it usually leads to a two way blessing... not only does it bring a deep satisfaction and fullness to my life, but it often benefits another.


Consider what speaks to you, calls out to you, draws you, keeps you awake at night... It may be a gift that God has for you to open. It's up to you to open it. He doesn't force gifts on His children. He doesn't punish you for not opening them. He just offers them to you and invites you to share in some of the beautiful things He's doing.

I love this quote... "Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice when He could do something about it. But I'm afraid He might ask me the same thing." Anonymous

You won't be sorry for watching this eye opening video. Just click the link below.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BewknNW2b8Y&feature=player_embedded

Are you earning or expressing?

Not everyone who says to me, "Lord, Lord" will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out many demons and perform many miracles?" Then I will tell them plainly, "I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers."


It may sound harsh, but I think Jesus was trying to wake them up and set them free from their religious treadmills. The religious leaders of His day were all about trying to earn their way to heaven. They thought they needed to prove that they were worthy of heaven by their good deeds. Jesus wanted them to see, it's not about what you "do", but who you "know". We can do a lot of religious acts and not even know God. In fact, often all the religious activity can be a distraction from really knowing Him. 


We were created for a relationship with our Father, not for religion. Religion puts the cart before the horse and encourages us to perform acts of righteousness to prove that we are good enough to go to heaven. Jesus says, He is the vine and we are the branches and if we remain in Him, we will bear much fruit.  Fruit is a natural extension of remaining in Him. A tree doesn't need to try to bear fruit. It happens organically because it's what it was created for. We were created for good works. He is the tree of life, the source of all life, and as we stay connected to Him, His life will flow in and through us.


Legalism says, you must, you should, you ought... The pharisees were obsessed with doing all the right things. They worked so hard on their outward appearance to prove themselves before God and man. They missed the point completely. Today we can fall into the same trap by trying to prove that we are good christians by our church attendance, faithful quiet times, knowledge of scripture, and acts of righteousness... But God says, the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Jesus was pointing out to the pharisees that all their acts of righteousness didn't derive from love that flowed out of a relationship with Him, but instead from performance.


Authentic christianity causes us to bear fruit without trying. Jesus will do in and through us what religion can never do. As we get to know the true God, we begin to experience His love. As we experience His love, it reorients us. It changes our perspective. It changes the way we see and relate to the world around us. When we see the face of God through Jesus, a veil is lifted and we experience the world around us in a different way. As we are transformed on the inside, we can't help but be transformed on the outside. Real fruit isn't manufactured, it grows out of a healthy relationship with the Father. The Lord isn't concerned with the outward appearance of man, but the heart. He cares about our motive. If our actions don't come from love, they're not sincere. 


God is not impressed with our busyness, but invites us to be still and get to know Him. He wants us to walk with Him, talk with Him, and listen to him. That's the point. He wants a relationship with us. As we get to know Him, His heart is transplanted into ours. The things He loves become the things we love. The things that cause Him pain, cause us pain. We begin to see the world through His eyes and as we do, our hands become His hands, our feet become His feet, our mouth becomes His mouth to the broken and hurting world around us.

The third Narnia movie really got me pondering...

I watched Chronicles of Narnia, the Voyage of the Dawn Treader this morning with the girls. I loved what Prince Caspian said... "I've spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what I was given." We've all lost things/people dear to us in this life, but if we never take our eye off of them, we'll miss what is in front of us. Since everything in this life is temporary: our possessions, our youth, our health... we need to be grateful for what we've been given at the time, grieve the loss when it's gone, and then continue to live and enjoy the new seasons we enter into. It's much easier said than done though.


That line in Narnia reminded me of a passage in The Message bible (Mathew chapter 6). It says... "What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so that you can respond to God's giving... Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow (or what happened yesterday~my 2 cents). God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." 


In the movie, Lucy longs to be beautiful like her older sister. She's so preoccupied with comparing herself with her sister and trying to capture the kind of beauty her sister has, that she misses her own unique beauty. Meanwhile, a little girl is looking at Lucy saying, "I want to look just like you when I grow up." We miss what has been given to us when we long for what someone else has.


As a parent, I'm delighted when my children enjoy the gifts that I give them. It makes me sad when they look at what someone else has and become ungrateful for what they've been given. Their ingratitude saddens me not because it offends me, but because it hurts them. It keeps them from recognizing and therefore enjoying what they've been given. 


I'm beginning to realize something about Father. He's not offended by our sin. He's not mad or disappointed in us. He only hates sin because it hurts the objects of His love... us. God is Love and love is not self seeking, He is "others" oriented. When we see Him in our fallen image, we see Him as a self-centered God who is easily angered and offended by our sin. That couldn't be further from the truth.


We don't serve a proud God. He made Himself nothing and put Himself beneath us to rescue us from our self destruction. He stooped down to our level and spoke our language so we could know Him. He came into our world in the flesh to show us who He really is. He demonstrated what it looks like to live in His kingdom while we're here on earth awaiting His kingdom to be fully restored. He held nothing back from us... He gave His very life to rescue us and bring us back to Him. Christianity is not about appeasing a God who is offended by our sin, but about a relationship with a loving Father who wants to rescue His children from self destruction.


Anything God warns us about or asks of us is only for our own good. He adores us. If we could see ourselves as He sees us... as we truly are, we'd see our worth and wouldn't be so preoccupied with trying to get it. In the movie there is a green mist, temptation, that creeps toward each character and speaks to a desire within them. It lies to them and promises to deliver what they want if they will compromise. What each person desires is what they perceive will give them worth:  beauty, wealth, power...  When they believe the lie, they miss the truth that they already have unsurpassable worth and that nothing this world offers could give them anymore worth than they already have. They exchange the truth for a lie and bring destruction upon themselves. Our God rescues us from sin, he doesn't punish us for it. Sin itself is it's own punishment. The natural law that comes with freedom of choice is, we reap what we sow. Natural consequences come from the choices we make. God wants us to avoid sin to avoid reaping the destruction it brings. He wants us to sow good because it brings good into our lives.


When Jesus left our world, He didn't leave us alone to battle the green mist (the evil). He deposited His Spirit in each of us, the Spirit of Truth, the Counselor. His voice always speaks truth to our inner being. He offers us a way out of temptation. Jesus says He is the shepherd and his sheep hear His voice. We can hear His voice of truth in us, but will we listen? Will we trust our Shepherd to protect us from what hurts us and lead us to the green pastures and still waters that restore our soul (Psalm 23)?


One last quote from Narnia that caught my attention was, "To defeat the darkness out there, you must first defeat the darkness inside yourself." We think the way to defeat the darkness inside ourselves is to scold and shame ourselves and keep trying harder. But that never works, it just keeps us focused on the sin. The only thing that dispels darkness is light. We don't need to confront the darkness in us and try to change it, but instead, embrace the light in Him and let Him untwist what is twisted in us. When we grasp that He accepts us as we are, His love begins to transform us, heal us, make us whole.  Sin is bondage. There is no freedom in it. God wants to set us free from it, not condemn us for it. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. As we learn to trust Father's love, we aren't afraid to bring our struggles to Him so He can shine light on them and expose the truth to us. At the root of every sin are lies that we've accepted. As He shines his light on those lies and replaces them with truth, the knots begin to untangle one by one all the way to the root of each sin, and little by little we are set free.

These aren't my words, I copied and pasted... but I find truth in them.

I like the following quotes from Spiderman 3, especially the last words from Aunt May:

Peter Parker: Flint Marko. The man who killed Uncle Ben, he was killed last night.
Aunt May: Oh, my. What happened?
Peter Parker: Spider-Man killed him.
Aunt May: Spider-Man? I don’t understand, Spider-Man doesn’t kill people. What happened?
Peter Parker: I, uh… He… he was… I thought that – That you’d feel… He deserved it, didn’t he?
Aunt May: I don’t think it’s for us to say whether a person deserves to live or die.
Peter Parker: But, Aunt May, he killed Uncle Ben.
Aunt May: Uncle Ben meant the world to us. But he wouldn’t want us living one second with revenge in our hearts. It’s like a poison. It can – It can take you over. Before you know it, turn us into something ugly.

Love is the antidote...

I've seen a lot of cheering in the news lately over the death of Bin Ladin. While my flesh understands the feeling that a sense of justice has been served for the 9/11 attacks, my spirit can't rejoice over another man's death. I'm not saying we don't have a right to protect ourselves, I just believe that the best way isn't through violence. I know we see wars in the Old Testament... an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, but when Jesus came with the new covenant, he said he had fulfilled the old covenant (the law). In the New Testament, Jesus says over and over, "You've heard it said..., but I tell you..." The old covenant, the law, was to be temporary. Jesus introduced grace to us in the New Testament. He knew the law could only temporarily conform external behavior, but would never reach the heart where real transformation occurs. Only love can do that. Grace shows us the depth of ones love.


I received a sweet email from my mother today on Mothers Day. In it she said, "Grace is unearned favor and that is what each of my daughters are to me." Let that definition of grace marinate for a while... grace = unearned favor. The gift that Jesus gave us could not be earned and certainly wasn't deserved. Instead of getting what our sins deserve, which is death, we were offered forgiveness. He calls us to follow in his steps.


My flesh wants to rejoice when my enemy falls. Jesus tells me not to. My flesh wants to take revenge when I'm wounded. God says, "It's mine to avenge." My flesh wants to pay back evil for evil. Jesus says, pay back evil with good. My flesh wants to make another person my enemy. Jesus says, our battle is never against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. My flesh wants to curse my enemies. Jesus tells us to pray for, to love, and to bless our enemies. His ways are not our ways. Our justice looks like payback. God's justice looks like mercy.


"Us" verses "them" mentality is not kingdom of God mentality (how God views things), it's kingdom of the world mentality (how the world views things). Although we don't realize it, kingdom of the world mentality is really seeing the world through a distorted lens. Through that self centered way of looking at things, each side views the other as the enemy. Each presupposes "we're" the good guys and "they're" the bad guys. From each person's or group's perspective, the other one is the evil one. In Greg Boyd's book, Myth of a Christian Nation, he asks the question... "At what point did we become a christian nation? Was it when we massacred the Native Americans and took their land, or was it when we brought the Africans over and enslaved them?" When I read that, it woke me up to how biased we all are in our own favor. It's scary how ill equipped we are to see things clearly. Perhaps that's why we are not to judge. We never do it fairly. Our sight is too limited, and we always serve our own self interest. After we label "us" as the good guys and "them" as the bad guys, we then decide how justice will be served. We basically play God.


Think of two siblings... "Ouch, you hurt me, I'll get you back!"And back and forth they go, with each hit becoming more violent. Nothing is ever solved with violence. We instinctively hope, if we just hit harder, we'll win. But part of us knows that won't be the end, so we sleep with one eye open wondering when the other will try to get us back.  I saw this on someone's facebook...  "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." It's true, we think power over someone (forcing, controlling) is greater than power under someone (serving, loving). Jesus didn't fight with the weapons of this world. His way looked foolish and weak. Could love really be more powerful??? Turning the other cheek just sounds crazy! Martin Luther King and Gandhi took the route of non-violence and look at the impact they made. Gandhi actually said, "I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Another time he said, "If Christians would really live according to the teachings of Christ, as found in the bible, all of India would be Christian today."


Jesus didn't come to bring another religion, but to bring a revolution... to teach us a new way to live. What if we, christians, actually believed what we profess? What if we had the faith and the courage to follow who we claimed to follow and put into practice His words? What if we actually loved, prayed for, and blessed those who cursed us? It took us 10 years to kill Bin Ladin. What if we spent that decade demonstrating a Jesus kind of love for our enemies instead of incurring an insurmountable debt and wasting countless lives? Love is the only hope we have for overcoming evil. It's the only antidote.