dream, dream, dream...

I had the strangest feeling just a minute ago and am still processing it...

I was making up my bed this morning and a thought came to me: "Remember the dream you had when you first moved here?" Then I suddenly remembered something that I haven't thought about since we first moved here (7-8 years ago). It was shortly after the church we were a part of started to fall apart. The curtain was pulled back and exposed just how far off track we had wandered. What began as a group of believers passionately following Jesus, had somehow evolved into a group of believers passionately following a bunch of rules.  Keith and I grieved as we watched people we had been close to for 20 years throw the baby out with the bath water. They didn't seem to know how to separate religion from a relationship with God, so they tossed them both out. Our kids seemed to feel betrayed, like the parents they trusted had somehow led them astray. I wanted to tell them I was sorry and that we never intended to hurt them. I felt a strong desire for Keith and I to wrap our arms around and minister to the group of kids that were our boys ages. They seemed so lost, like someone just pulled the rug out from under them. But we were still trying to find our way out of the box of religious performance and learn how to simply live inside Father's love. (A pharisectomy is a slow and painful process.)

This morning, when I was reminded of that dream I had so long ago; I realized it was being fulfilled at this very time. It was not something I manipulated or contrived. Keith and I never sat down and planned it out. It happened very organically, by the master gardener, through a lot of pruning. Just yesterday morning, on Mother's Day, our living room was full of young adults sitting around, feeling safe and free enough, to wrestle out loud with the scriptures. Then later that night, Alex and Drew and their friends ate over and spent the night. These young adults, who had been in and out of our home all day and shared meals with us, were the very kids that crawled out from underneath the pile of rubble that fell 7-8 years ago. Over the years, these kids have become part of our family. I had forgotten all about that dream, until God whispered it to my heart this morning. I hadn't realized that over time, God made that dream a reality?

Here is something that I didn't even realize until I sat down to type this... Sitting on this desk is a plant that Drew gave me for Mother's Day yesterday. In it is a rock with the word "dream" painted on it. Yesterday, when Drew gave it to me, he told me that there were several plants like this at Lowes, but only one with a rock in it. (Hmmm, coincidence?) Then, this morning when I got up, Drew came into the kitchen. He said, "I had a bad dream last night". I said, "That's weird, I did too, and I couldn't go back to sleep!" So we sat there this morning talking about our dreams. (Hmmm, another coincidence?) Then of coarse, there was the random thought that popped into my head as I was making up my bed, "Remember the dream you had when you first moved here?" (Hmmm, a 3rd coincidence???) Not to me!

A conversation with a friend...

Oh, I have to tell you! After I hung up with you, I got the girls out of the pool and told them to shampoo/condition their hair in the pool bathroom. While they were in the shower, I sat under the umbrella with one of the neighbors. She asked me if I would teach her son swimming lessons again this summer. Her son has some special needs and I asked how he was doing. She said, he's okay, but I'm really struggling with one of my daughters. I asked how old she was. She said, 11. I said, how long have you been struggling? She said, 2 years and it's getting worse. With tears in her eyes she said, "I'm really scared Michele". I sat there and talked with her for an hour. I shared with her the things I've been learning and some of the struggles I've had with my own kids. I told her that you and I were just on the phone talking about this very thing. She opened up to me and we had an amazing conversation. She seemed so thirsty for hope, like the woman at the well. She thanked me for the things I shared with her and seemed to feel relief that someone could relate to her and give her hope. I'm dropping off a book in her mailbox today and hopefully we'll get together for coffee soon. These are some of the "real" needs that I'm beginning to see are all around me. People who look like they have it together on the outside, but inside they're tortured. Their needs may not be as obvious as those in the 3rd world countries because they have food, clothes, and a roof over their heads, but they are people filled with pain. They are lost and hopeless like sheep without a shepherd...

I love what Wayne Jacobson says, "He likes to have real conversations about things that matter with people who care." I was thinking about how my neighbor and I got into such a meaningful conversation at the pool. It seemed so out of the blue. It wasn't something I had planned that day. She has lived in this neighborhood as long as I have (about 8 years) and we've always been neighborly. Then last summer she asked me to give her son lessons, and then in the fall she asked me to help her decorate her family room. Those 2 times we spent together opened the door for us to have some meaningful conversations. 

Sometimes I wonder if we could really see what goes on behind the scenes... Would we see God looking at all the pain in the world and hearing all the desperate cries for help and then sending his children to be his hands, feet, and voice to bring hope and healing to one another? Maybe he has specific tasks for each of us, and as we each follow where he leads, the world gets healed piece by piece. Maybe he intersected the lives of me and my neighbor so that I could share with her some of the resources that God led me to that brought me and my family healing. We don't have to understand all that he's doing, he's the orchestrator and will accomplish his will. Our job is just to love who he puts in front of us and follow where he leads, then watch his plans unfold as he heals the world through us. I think Jesus showed us how to do that in his ministry. 

Last Sunday, we talked about that with the small group that meets in our home. One of the guys said, "Sometimes I think we should be doing something great for God, but then I think maybe that comes more from my old religious background rather than coming from God." I said, I guess I don't feel that so much anymore. I feel called to love my neighbor; to reflect God's love to those I come in contact with everyday." I do think that God sometimes calls us to love our neighbor on the other side of the world, but I think if we follow where he leads us everyday, one thing will lead to another and we'll find ourselves on the other side of the world. Our flesh is tempted to want to point to the things we accomplish for God, so we can validate our faith before God and man. But I have a feeling sometimes it's the quietest lives that have the most profound consequences.

When I look at how differently we were all created (different passions, desires, talents...), I think, surely God doesn't have the same tasks for all of us. I was thinking about another guy in our group (a teacher/head coach). He was talking about one of the programs he's trying to get implemented in his school. He sees a lot of kids that are overweight and worries about childhood obesity. These kids don't fit in the "jock" category and would never play sports at school, so he wants to create a frisbee golf coarse so each kid could play at their own pace. He just got it approved and is raising $5,000.00 to create the coarse and will be doing a lot of the work himself. I think maybe that's what it looks like when we follow the promptings of the spirit, rather than try to come up with a plan to save the world and then invite God in on it. When I look at the example Jesus set for us, I see him engaged with his father and following where he leads and simply loving those he comes in contact with and offering them kindness, compassion, and healing. Even though each of us may feel like our part is small, I think as each part of the body does it's work, the mustard seed affect will be tremendous.