email conversations...

I'm glad you've found a place that offers the structure that's helpful to you, and yet the freedom that allows you to set boundaries and not be controlled. Maybe we all thrive in different environments. Or maybe God calls us to different environments at different times because it's what we need at that particular time. For me right now, I feel like God is inviting me into a different space. I feel like I've been painting by numbers for so long and trying so hard to stay in the lines, that painting became an obligation rather than a joy. I'm now enjoying the freedom and messiness of painting freehand. It was scary at first, but now I can't imagine painting any other way. What's most important, is that everyone find the path that helps them walk closely with Him. What hinders one may be helpful to another.

   

 I believe God has a variety of ways to speak to his children. For me, I have been enjoying listening podcasts and reading books by Wayne Jacobson and Greg Boyd. God is using them to heal me in some areas I wasn't even aware I was broken in. They are helping me root out the picture of a scary God and replace it with a safe and loving God that I can trust. God is using them to minister to me how deeply I'm loved... warts and all. He used their preaching and teaching to open my eyes to the how my despicable judgement had kept me from truly loving people. God's also used my journey of adoption and just parenting in general to show me the incredible healing power of unconditional love. (L.R. Knost, Laura Markham, Bryan Post, Heather Forbes, and Karen Purvis are authors and speakers that have taught me so much about what unconditional love really is.) Tomorrow he may use a different messenger or speak a different message, one that untwists something else that I have twisted; or maybe take me deeper into his love and freedom. Who knows? He leads, I just follow. He constantly speaks to me through books, music, art, nature, my children, my neighbors, strangers... It's often unexpected, but quenches something deep inside my soul that I have been thirsting for. I'm learning to walk with him and listen to his voice and trust his guidance. I know that he will make available to me exactly what I need, when I need it. I've learned that what's helpful for me and where I am, is not necessarily helpful for another. But like you, I occasionally throw something out there that speaks to me, just in case it might minister to someone else.

Gotta run for now and get dinner started. As usual, I love our conversations...