Monday, August 15, 2011

Being Rescued From the Darkness... Not Just A One Time Thing!

I still remember a dream I had about 23 years ago. It was so vivid... I don't think I could ever forget it.  One warm spring afternoon while my son was napping, I stepped out on my deck, sat down in a lawn chair and dosed off. In my dream, I was walking through a forrest. After walking for a while, I came upon a clearing with a little cabin right in the center. As I walked out of the dense forest into the clearing, I noticed the intensity of the light. The light didn't feel warm and inviting to me, but painful. I hurried toward the cabin wanting some reprieve from the bright light. Once inside I felt the comfort of the darkness again. As I entered one of the rooms, the light began to seep through the blinds and burn my eyes. I ran to the next room and then the next, trying to escape the light, but it seemed to be everywhere. When I woke up, my eyes were soaked with tears. The sun was burning my eyes. I ran inside. 
Later I opened my bible and for the first time read this scripture... John 3:19... "This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." Well that was a pretty clear message for me at that time in my life. God used that dream and that verse to shine light on some pretty painful things I had hidden. They were destroying me, and God in His grace wanted to set me free. 
He still continues to shine His light into some dark areas of my life. When His light exposes some truths in me, though it still feels uncomfortable and painful to see me as I really am, and a part of me wants to run back into the darkness and hide, I'm learning to embrace the light because it's the only real safe place. God doesn't use His light to expose things in me to embarrass or condemn me, there's no condemnation in Christ Jesus, but He shines His light on all the broken pieces of my life that sin has shattered so He can help me put them back together. He doesn't force me out of the darkness, but draws me out of the woods into his healing presence. He even provides a cabin to cover my shame and blinds to give me truth in doses that I can handle, so as not to overwhelm me with sorrow. His kindness leads me to repentance. He comes looking for me in my brokeness, not to shame or punish me, but to heal me and set me free. When He finds me, He takes me gently by the hand and walks me out of the woods... He loves me too much to leave me in the darkness.

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