Keith and I were watching a show on PBS the other night. A man named Shawn Achor who spent a good portion of his life trying to understand what makes people happy was talking about the key to happiness. He teaches the most popular class at Harvard where he lectures on positive psychology. He says that a lot of people think that they will be happy when... I get my health back, I get married, I lose 20 lbs, I get rich, I get cosmetic surgery, and the list goes on. Are all pretty people happy? Are all rich people happy?... This guy believes that 10% of what makes people happy comes from the outside, but the other 90% comes from the inside. He says that it's the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. If you can change the lens, you can change your happiness.
It's interesting when science catches up with God. God tells us that the eye is the lamp of the body, if your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. How do we perceive things? Do we look with eyes of compassion or eyes of judgement? What do we focus on? Is it that one negative thing going on in our life, or all the countless blessings? God says to continually give thanks in all circumstances (not for all circumstances, but in all circumstances) Do we look for the good that can come out of things? God also encourages us to think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Is our Father teaching us how we can be happy in a broken world? Did our Creator design our brains with the ability to protect ourselves against all the negativity around us?
Shawn teaches his students that the first step towards happiness is to stop equating future success with happiness. He says you have to train your brain to be positive just like you have to workout your body. Research shows that if you do something for 21 days in a row it actually changes your brain chemistry and will create a new habit. So he challenges you to pick 1 out of 5 researched habits and try it out for 21 days in a row to create a positive habit. Keith and I decided to put his theory to the test. The habit we chose to try was to name 3 things we were thankful for every day for the next 21 days.
The next morning at breakfast, I told my girls Ellie (10) and Emma (6) that we were going to try an experiment. For the next 21 days we were going to play a thankful game. I told them the rule was to choose 3 different things every day that they were thankful for. Emma knocked out 3 things right away. I'm thankful for my family, my food, and my home because a lot of kids in the world don't have those things. (Remember, Emma was adopted 3 1/2 years ago and came from a very deprived orphanage). Ellie looked around the room and said, "Uh, I'm thankful for this table, the tv, and uh, the dog." So I decided that we'd also say why we were thankful for each thing to make sure we were truly being thoughtful and sincere about our choices.
After about a week of doing this, I noticed that something was actually changing in me. Some of the difficult circumstances that were going on in our life hadn't changed, but they didn't seem to bother me so much. In fact, a few other stressful and unpleasant things were added to the mix. Today, for instance, our A/C broke (and it's right in the middle of August). After the A/C guy left, we noticed the hardwood floors in our kitchen starting to buckle. It looks like a pipe from the sink is leaking underneath our hardwood floors. Every time something negative happens, I find myself looking for the good in it, even finding humor in it. I notice that throughout the day Keith, the girls and I keep sharing extra things we were thankful for. We were drawn to the positive like a magnet.
So I decided to invite the boys in on it. I made a chart and hung it on the refrigerator for whoever wanted to join in. I labeled it, "The Happiness Project." Everyday, after we tell someone the 3 things we're thankful for, we put a check by our name. We've found value in not just saying the 3 things to ourselves, but in sharing them with each other. That way, instead of just thinking about the 3 things we're thankful for, we're encouraging others as well as being encouraged. When someone says they're thankful for something, someone always seems to say, "Oh yeah, me too." We're drawing attention to and reminding each other of all that is wonderful in this world. I'll end this post with a link to Louis Armstrong's, What a Wonderful World. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5TwT69i1lU
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